Ponderations on Complaining...

As you may or may not have noticed I’ve not blogged in quite some time. There are several reason for this.

1.     Those who know me well know I’m very cyclical with my interests. I’ll do something for a few months and then cycle to the next thing.  After a few months I was on to something else in the cycle.

2.     General busyness. I do happen to have a full-time job so my daytime hours are pretty much spent doing that. For me, writing often tends to feel like work so in my downtime I tend to want to do things that don’t feel like work.

3.     Laziness….doesn’t require any explanation.

While the above-mentioned reasons definitely contributed to my hiatus they aren’t really the main reason. The real reason relates to the topic of this ponderation.

My intention for starting this blog was to have a way of sharing the thoughts, questions and ideas that bounce around in my head on a daily basis. I tend to spend a lot of time in mentally pondering all sorts of topics, hence the name for the blog. As I continued blogging my entries turned out to not be as random as I had intended and had devotional quality to them. This was all well and good until I started reviewing my next wave of ideas.

I tend to be very critical and logical by nature. Because of my upbringing and current employment many of my thoughts revolve around the way that churches are structured and do business. Since I’m part of the Seventh-day Adventist church many of these thoughts have to do with that specific denomination. As a result, my next crop of ponderations were critiques of Adventists, the Adventist church and the way that they (we) do things.

Given the devotional nature of my previous blogs it was a bit uncomfortable to then switch to ranting against the church. Even worse was the fact that most of my criticism was not coupled with some type of solution or remedy. As I began to try to rework my thoughts and come up with something more productive to write I got discouraged and just quit.

Now that I’ve blabbed for several paragraphs I come to my point and the point of this particular posting.

• Is it appropriate to rant and complain about the church in such a public forum as the internet?
• Does the fact that the complaints are accompanied with a solution make a difference?
• What is the motivation for publishing these complaints? Just venting? Hoping to change the church in some way?
• What will be the actual effect of the words on those reading them?
• Will my words push them towards or away from God?

The last question I think is the most important. In this age of Twitter and Facebook we have gotten in the habit of publicly posting whatever crosses our minds without regard for how that will affect others and what kind of witness we are being for God. While I am free to think, write and speak as I please, I must remember that what I do affects others. Given that, willa my complaining cause others to stumble and lose faith?

As I continue to blog I’m going to attempt two things. First I want to continue to post my actual thoughts on topics and not be afraid to tackle certain issues. Second, I will put in the work to at least attempt to write in such a way as to be a blessing and not a stumbling block to those who may be reading it.

Check out Romans 14 and 1 Corinthians 8 and let me know what you think of them in the context of complaining.

That’s all I’ve got….just some ponderations…

Ponderations on ADD...

Ponderations on Attention Deficit Disorder…

I must admit that I chose this title in order to get you to read this. I'm not pondering ADD in the sense that you are probably thinking. I'd like to ramble for a bit on a different kind of Attention Deficit Disorder.

I think that all of us as humans are born with an attention deficit. We are born with an innate need for attention. It's amazing to see the things that babies or toddlers will do simply to get attention. They will repeat the same behavior over and over and over and over again as long as it gives them the attention they crave. They will even act out in order to receive negative attention. As long as they are the center of attention they are happy.

I think a lot of problems we as adults have are a result of us not properly dealing with this deficit. Somehow many of us tie our self worth to how much attention we can garner and maintain.

Most people seem to fall into at least two major groups. The first group is those who didn't get an adequate amount of attention from their parents and so as adults they do utterly foolish things. These are the ones who will put up with all manner of foolishness simply because someone is paying them attention. A woman may stay with a man even though he treats her horribly because he gives her attention. Sometimes in a negative way but it's still attention! A man may stay in a certain job that doesn't fulfill him but since it has a "title," he endures. Certain titles bring attention: Director…Chairman…Leader. Then there are those who will intentionally pursue a certain career because that line of work will afford them the level of attention they seek. How many actors, teachers or even pastors go into those professions for attention? Why am I even writing this blog?

Of course, we've all seen men or women who wear the most ridiculous, scandalous or revealing things. When a friend of mine sees someone like this, her usual response is something to the effect of "This is why parents need to pay attention to their children!" Pay attention parents.

Since the blog is really just me writing my thoughts, a lot of what I write is personal and speaks directly to me. I think I tend to fall in this second category; those of us who didn't happen to have so much of a deficit from our families rather at some point growing up found a reliable way to get extra attention. First I was the funny kid. The funny guy always gets attention. As I got older funny turned to clever which mixed with sarcasm…still feeding that deficit that I believe we’re all born with. Had it stopped here I don't think it would have been a real issue. But like a lot of men it evolved yet once more and gave way to flirtation. Flirtation is a supreme way to fill that attention bucket and I took hold. Anyone who knows me knows I speak the truth.

I plan to later review a book on relationships so I won't go too deep into the book at this time. But in reading something hit me like a brick and probably prompted at least part of this whole thought process. The author, a man, decries an incident that made his wife very insecure and jealous. I'm sure many female readers will relate. The whole day the husband had been pretty boring and non-responsive. We all have those days. The problem came when they went to dinner. As they walk in to the restaurant the hostess greets them and this "boring" man all of a sudden becomes chatty with her and is the most charming man alive! Then they go sit down and back to normal. The wife was obviously very frustrated and the man quite defensive since his intention was simply to be nice. After really examining himself he came to realize that he wasn't just being nice. He had an innate need to be clever and smart around women. Once he realized this he was able to tone down the flirting and actually be genuinely nice.

I didn't mention that story as a way to launch into a relationship discussion but rather to show that we all have this need for attention and we have ways of getting that attention that we may not even realize. I admit that I've even go so far so to keep certain friends simply because they feed my attention deficit. I don't particularly like them or enjoy their company but since they like me and think I'm clever/funny I keep them around.

I guess part of being an adult is finding out where we're deficient and determining how we've self-medicated. Then it's time to stop medicating and work in the root of the problem. Now that I know what the issue is I can face it. Maybe I'll think twice before posting that "clever" comment on X person's Facebook page. Maybe I'll think twice before I compliment Z on their new haircut. Maybe I'll hold off on telling that hilarious story at the lunch table. Maybe I won't post that status, hug that person, send that txt, wear that outfit, get that haircut or whatever it is!

I'm not saying any of those things are bad or evil. But I am saying that they can be a sign of a deficit. I think it's vitally important for us to examine our motives in everything that we do whether it be "good" or "evil." In the end ALL we do should be out of love. If we strive to live, love, to do justice and mercy, I think we'll find that many of our deficits will take care of themselves. So what do you think of ADD now?

"1 If I speak in human or angelic tongues, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body [to hardship] that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

1 Corinthians 13: 1-3,11 & 13 (Today's New International Version)


That's all I've got...just some ponderations...

Ponderations on Being Known...

Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.

Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.

Wouldn't you like to get away?

Sometimes you want to go

Where everybody knows your name,

and they're always glad you came.

You wanna be where you can see,

our troubles are all the same

You wanna be where everybody knows

Your name.

You wanna go where people know,

people are all the same,

You wanna go where everybody knows

your name.

If you're like me, you grew up watching Cheers. Well actually I didn't grow up watching it but I do remember the song. I've always liked how in shows like Cheers, Seinfeld or Friends they have a place to hang out. They can go there and the people who work there know them by name. No need to even order because they already know what you want.

I still remember how it felt after working at the General Conference building for several months when the security guard at the door not only recognized me but actually said "Good morning, Christian!". Wow! What a feeling! To walk in to such a place and be known by name. Contrast that with the day I went there for the interview and got sent around to the guest entrance. Even after several weeks of working there I'd get suspicious looks and if for some reason I forgot my badge…back to the GUEST entrance! Being known is a great feeling.

As great as all that is it's still very superficial.

There are some people who know me so well that we don't even need to speak to communicate. A simple look or gesture can tell a whole story. Even from across a crowded room, a glance can cause an eruption of laughter. We have spent so much time and experienced so much together that it becomes easy to predict and anticipate what the other might do.

Then there are friends who go even deeper. These are the people that you can be your TRUE self around. They know exactly who you are and you have no need to wear a mask or pretend around them. You can relax and just be. It's great to be able to speak freely and act authentically.

I think that Church should be like Cheers. I'm not speaking of the physical building rather the community of people that make up church. It should be a group of people that help you make your way in the world. It's a group where everyone realizes that we're all just people. We're all human, but we're in this together. Maybe this group even knows your name! It should be a place where you can feel "known." Imagine what "church" would be like if we all actually knew each other. No more masks…no more being fake...no judging or comparing our sins with someone else's. A place where they are glad to see you.  

Even if I never find the Cheers Church I do take comfort in the fact that there is someone who truly knows me. He knew me even before I was born. With Him I can be authentic and real. He knows everything so I'm free to be me. He is where I can go when worries way me down. He's always glad I came and He knows my name. It's nice to be known.

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb."
Psalm 139:13 (New International Version)

"Listen to me, you islands; hear this, you distant nations:
Before I was born the LORD called me; from my birth he has made mention of my name."
Isaiah 49:1 (New International Version)

That's all I've got...just some ponderations...

Ponderations on Adornment...

Definition of ADORN
1: to enhance the appearance of especially with beautiful objects
2: to enliven or decorate as if with ornaments <people of fashion who adorned the Court>

see: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/adorned?show=0&t=1285692419

To me, the idea of enhancing my appearance with a beautiful object doesn't seem to be an evil or immoral concept. I've observed, in my short time here on earth, that many in my church have made this into a moral issue and in so doing have done themselves and those they judge a huge disservice. When I say "my church" I'm speaking of my denomination as a whole and not a particular congregation. I'm not trying to bash my church, rather speak on something that has convicted me personally.

Traditionally, my church has had a negative view of adornment and in most cases this refers to wearing jewelery and excessive makeup. As I have thought about this the following questions came to mind...

Why is there such a strong prohibition in regards to jewelery and makeup?
What is the purpose of shunning outward adornment?
Is there a way to quantify or measure how much adornment is too much?
Is adornment limited to clothing and accessories?
What is the difference between various materials of adornment (i.e., silver, gold, silk, cotton, plastic)?
Is the absolute cost important or is it the cost relative to the income of the individual?
Is it OK to wear a $2000 suit but NOT OK to wear a $50 ring?
Can the person who goes to the gym everyday and lives on protein shakes in order to have the "perfect" body guilty of "adornment?"
Should we dress like Quakers? Is that the best way to avoid "adornment"?

As I sat in deep ponderation, something occurred to me. Or more likely, something was revealed to me.

This whole issue of adornment is a heart issue. It's not about WHAT we wear but WHY we wear it. As Christians we are called to a life that is meek and humble. We are to draw attention to God and not to ourselves. So I see adornment as an attitude. It's a way of life that says...HEY LOOK AT ME!

I am chiefest among the guilty! Do I REALLY need to drive a Chrysler Crossfire? When I honestly searched my motives I really only got it for attention. LOOK AT ME! I HAVE A NEW JOB AND I'M SUCCESSFUL!

Then there is the way I dress...or more accurately...used to dress for work. Should I really be KNOWN for how I dress at work? Is a 3-piece suit REALLY necessary? Recently, my office switched to business-casual dress. I was able to use this opportunity to tone down the wardrobe. People still come up to me and tell me they miss the suits and ties. Much better to be known for a joyful attitude than nice clothes.

Am I saying that dressing nice or driving a nice car is wrong? NO! But MY reasons were wrong and therein lies the problem. This brings me to my closing point.

Only two people will ever REALLY know WHY I do what I do--ME and GOD. If that is the case, who are we to tell someone what they should or shouldn't wear. Whether that be a ring, necklace, scarf, tie, cuff-link or broach, it's not our business. We can never know their heart condition. Our job is to model meekness and humility by dealing with the plank in our own eye. God is working on them whether YOU see it or not. Let's live with the right attitude and leave the judgment to God.

But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things human beings look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.
1 Samuel 16:7 (Today's New International Version)

That's all I've got...just some ponderations...

Ponderations on Commandments...

If God were to give us a set of commandments in 2010, would He give the same 10?

Obviously in the Bible God expects us to follow more than just those 10 but for some reason, at that point in time, he highlighted those 10 for them (The Israelites). Would we now be given say 4? 14? Or more than 20?

Jesus summed up those ten as essentially loving God and loving our fellow man\woman. I'm not here to question God or second guess Jesus, but it might APPEAR that there are components lacking to this formula. Maybe those components were so ingrained in the culture as to be taken for granted. I'm speaking of our treatment of nature and our treatment of ourselves.

Would "Thou shalt eat a healthful and balanced diet" be a commandment for US?

Or  "Thou shalt respect and care for the environment"
"Thou shalt respect viewpoints different from and even opposed to your own"
"Thou shalt respect the property and privacy of others"
In this time that we live how important - top 10 - is a commandment specifically addressing "graven images?"

If I am to love my neighbor as myself...does it not follow that I should FIRST learn to love myself?
Self-hatred is why many find it so easy to hate and mistreat others...

God loves me-->I love God.-->I love me.-->I love others...


That's all I've got...just some ponderations...