I must admit that I chose this title in order to get you to read this. I'm not pondering ADD in the sense that you are probably thinking. I'd like to ramble for a bit on a different kind of Attention Deficit Disorder.
I think that all of us as humans are born with an attention deficit. We are born with an innate need for attention. It's amazing to see the things that babies or toddlers will do simply to get attention. They will repeat the same behavior over and over and over and over again as long as it gives them the attention they crave. They will even act out in order to receive negative attention. As long as they are the center of attention they are happy.
I think a lot of problems we as adults have are a result of us not properly dealing with this deficit. Somehow many of us tie our self worth to how much attention we can garner and maintain.
Of course, we've all seen men or women who wear the most ridiculous, scandalous or revealing things. When a friend of mine sees someone like this, her usual response is something to the effect of "This is why parents need to pay attention to their children!" Pay attention parents.
Since the blog is really just me writing my thoughts, a lot of what I write is personal and speaks directly to me. I think I tend to fall in this second category; those of us who didn't happen to have so much of a deficit from our families rather at some point growing up found a reliable way to get extra attention. First I was the funny kid. The funny guy always gets attention. As I got older funny turned to clever which mixed with sarcasm…still feeding that deficit that I believe we’re all born with. Had it stopped here I don't think it would have been a real issue. But like a lot of men it evolved yet once more and gave way to flirtation. Flirtation is a supreme way to fill that attention bucket and I took hold. Anyone who knows me knows I speak the truth.
I plan to later review a book on relationships so I won't go too deep into the book at this time. But in reading something hit me like a brick and probably prompted at least part of this whole thought process. The author, a man, decries an incident that made his wife very insecure and jealous. I'm sure many female readers will relate. The whole day the husband had been pretty boring and non-responsive. We all have those days. The problem came when they went to dinner. As they walk in to the restaurant the hostess greets them and this "boring" man all of a sudden becomes chatty with her and is the most charming man alive! Then they go sit down and back to normal. The wife was obviously very frustrated and the man quite defensive since his intention was simply to be nice. After really examining himself he came to realize that he wasn't just being nice. He had an innate need to be clever and smart around women. Once he realized this he was able to tone down the flirting and actually be genuinely nice.
I didn't mention that story as a way to launch into a relationship discussion but rather to show that we all have this need for attention and we have ways of getting that attention that we may not even realize. I admit that I've even go so far so to keep certain friends simply because they feed my attention deficit. I don't particularly like them or enjoy their company but since they like me and think I'm clever/funny I keep them around.
I guess part of being an adult is finding out where we're deficient and determining how we've self-medicated. Then it's time to stop medicating and work in the root of the problem. Now that I know what the issue is I can face it. Maybe I'll think twice before posting that "clever" comment on X person's Facebook page. Maybe I'll think twice before I compliment Z on their new haircut. Maybe I'll hold off on telling that hilarious story at the lunch table. Maybe I won't post that status, hug that person, send that txt, wear that outfit, get that haircut or whatever it is!
I'm not saying any of those things are bad or evil. But I am saying that they can be a sign of a deficit. I think it's vitally important for us to examine our motives in everything that we do whether it be "good" or "evil." In the end ALL we do should be out of love. If we strive to live, love, to do justice and mercy, I think we'll find that many of our deficits will take care of themselves. So what do you think of ADD now?
"1 If I speak in human or angelic tongues, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body [to hardship] that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."1 Corinthians 13: 1-3,11 & 13 (Today's New International Version)
That's all I've got...just some ponderations...
